It all starts with intention
With a new year at our feet and the “day of love” fast approaching, it is a great time for a renewed focus on your relationship. Setting an intention can be a way to turn the vision of your partnership into reality.
What is intention?
In Latin, intention means “to stretch out” and “to turn your attention to something.” In early English, it also meant “heart, mind, or understanding,” alongside “purpose or aspiration.”
For our conversation, let’s distill it down to what — in the deepest part of yourself — you long for and strive to experience in your couplehood. Intention is not about the day-to-day tasks we aim to complete. It is about the BIG STUFF that shapes our connection with our loved one.
Why bother to set an intention?
When we take the time to get clear about the big stuff it helps in two ways. It channels our long-term motivation and, in doing so, brings us into clear focus about the present.
Start with your individual vision.
Invite your partner to join you in this process. First, I invite each of you to spend some time thinking about YOUR vision for the relationship. This may not be an easy process. That’s okay. Take your time. I’ll let you in on something important: All information is helpful. So, whatever thoughts come up for you, make note of them.
Get concrete.
Envision a time in the future with your partner when your relationship is everything you want it to be. Let’s call it YOUR BLISS.
What does this experience look like?
Where are the two of you and what are you doing?
What is your proximity to each other?
What is the expression on your face? Your partner’s face?
Make it real in your mind.
How do you feel spending this time with them?
What are you saying to yourself about this special time with your partner?
What does it motivate you to do?
Share YOUR BLISS with one another.
Together, go through the questions that you asked yourself. Can you take your visions and co-create one that you can both invest in?
If it’s too daunting, stop.
Instead, think about what is difficult about this prompt. The ease or difficulty of this may have to do with how safely connected you are with your partner. Share what was difficult. Then take 20 minutes and each share about 2 times you remember feeling safely connected with each other.
Document your shared vision.
This has the potential to be a special declaration or work of art. You can think about using images, color…maybe even glitter! Find a special place to display your combined vision where you both will see it regularly. Give your shared vision a name.
Use your shared vision to inform the present.
With the BIG STUFF in focus, let’s tune into the present. Each of you ask yourself, “What is one thing I am currently doing that may be standing in the way of our shared vision?” and “What is one small thing I can do today to bring us closer to our vision?” Write your thoughts down and revisit often to set the tone each day.
